Dirty Little Secret
by nightowlofdoom
Summary: Tamaki's cousin Amandine and Nekozawa's cousin Rennie are attending Ouran Academy for a semester. Neither of them expected to find themselves in the middle of trouble! Secrets will be revealed, hatred will work its way into the hearts of those betrayed, and Usa-chan's fluffy powers will be put to the test!
1. Introductions!

"A Host Club, seriously?" Amandine asked, running a pale hand through her blonde hair. She'd been at the Suoh's second estate for twenty minutes, and already Tamaki was getting to her. Sure she was thrilled to see her cousin again, after all, they hadn't been in contact since she was thirteen and he fourteen, but she was beginning to remember why she had a constant headache those days. It was by some freak miracle she'd been allowed to study at Ouran for the semester. She knew it would have taken an arm and a leg to get Tamaki's witch of a grandmother on board with the idea. "What do you do, go around flattering the girls of the school?"

"Precisely!" Tamaki exclaimed. "And what greater pleasure is there in life than making a young lady feel loved?"

"And they fall for it?" she asked. She'd grown up alongside Tamaki. Both had been only children, and their mothers had insisted they play together. She'd quickly caught on that Tamaki was about as straight as a curly fry early on in middle school. Granted, she figured he could argue he was simply European, but she knew better.

"Of course," Tamaki grinned. "You'll have to come one day after school. The first day's always the best. And then you can meet the others! You'll really like Kyouya, I think. But stay away from those dirty twins. And then there's Haruhi. He's really a girl, but you can't tell anyone."

"Wait, slow down," Amandine said. She'd just gotten into the country that evening, and her knowledge of Japanese was extremely limited. "It sounds like you just said the boy is really a girl."

"Because she is!" Tamaki said.

"Hey, I don't judge," Amandine shrugged.

"I know," he replied. It seemed like he always had to have the last word. But he did know she wasn't judgmental. That's why he'd told her about his… preferences… before anyone else. Only a handful of people really knew; the rest simply speculated. "So how is…?" he tried to ask, but Amandine cut him off.

"I don't know," she said. "She left when you did. My mom and I haven't seen her since."

"Oh," his face fell.

Amandine sighed. She really hated seeing him upset, she always had. And when his mother had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, he had been inconsolable for months. "I'm sure she's fine, though," she said, placing a hand on Tamaki's shoulder. She smiled, he'd gotten taller. Granted, he'd always been tall for his age, almost everyone in the family was tall. She was the one that got the short gene.

Tamaki nodded. "What about your mother?"

"Never better," she answered. "Misses you like crazy, though. She told me to make sure I tell her everything. Of course I'll omit a few details, even though I'm pretty sure everyone on our side of the family knows by now. So when do I get to meet this Kyouya person?"

"First day of school," Tamaki answered. "You'll meet him, Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi. And maybe Nekozawa-senpai… But be careful around him. He has a cursed cat puppet."

"…A cursed… cat puppet?" Amandine stifled a laugh. "Always the superstitious one." She stifled a yawn. "So are you gonna show me to my room or do I have to find it myself?"

Tamaki shook his head and bowed deeply. "It would be my pleasure to escort you to your residence, my lady." Amandine shook her head, but decided to humor him. She followed him up the stairs and to the right. "You're right across the hall from me," he explained. "So if you need anything, I'm right there." He opened the door and motioned for her to step in.

"Oh my God," Amandine said as she looked around. The room was absolutely breathtaking dark walls and hardwood floors. A wire-framed bed with a red comforter and a cherry desk with a leather chair were all that were in it, but it seemed to be enough. After all, she would only be there for a few months.

"Sorry it's so small, but it's a guest room," Tamaki explained.

Amandine shook her head. "It's perfect." She walked to the middle of the room.

"Well, I should let you sleep. You're probably jet-lagged," he laughed slightly. "I know I was when I first got here. I'll make sure your things are sent up so you can get them put away before school starts next week." He started to close the door. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will," she assured. Her cousin always had been quite the gentleman. "Night."

"Morning," Tamaki laughed and closed the door. He really was glad to have her there. It was nice having someone else in the empty mansion for once, other than the staff. He hoped she'd like Ouran and his friends, especially Kyouya, though he knew she would definitely be in for the shock of her life.

* * *

Rennie ran a hand through her half-inch long hair, examining the room where she was going to be using for the next eighteen weeks or so. It was absolutely beautiful; black stone walls with a large glass door leading out to the balcony facing the west and a four poster bed made up with black sheets, pillows and comforters. There were no decorations anywhere, save for the candles flickering on the walls, each one a different color. Rennie smiled to herself as she savored the beauty and simplicity of her new room.

"Oh Rennie-chan!" A voice spoke from the shadows. She laughed as the figure - her cousin Umehito - moved out from the shadows beside her bed. She was not surprised he had been watching her, as she too was a student of dark magic in her spare time and and could sense his presence. His face moved into the light, and a smile was revealed. "It's so good to see you again, Rennie-chan." He moved to give her a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly.

"I'm glad to see you too, Umehito. It's been too long." Both stood there for a moment enjoying the contact before separating. Nekozawa was not surprised to see how grown up Rennie looked. At seventeen, she had turned into quite the young woman. Her hair, though, was an oddity where ever she went. "How was the trip?"

Rennie groaned as she laid on the bed and patted the spot beside her. "I am never flying anywhere again. The people are rude and snotty, and they can't even tell the difference between a woman with short hair and a man in drag!" Nekozawa laughed as he laid next to her, imagining the scene unfolding. Rennie shot him a look that said don't you even start. Her cousin was kind, but sometimes he reveled too much in other's misfortune, no matter how humorous it may be.

"Who cares about my boring flight? Tell me about this Mori of yours. What's he look like? Is he nice, or a jerk? If he hurts you I am going to KILL him..." Rennie prattled. Umehito waited until her oddly-specific death threat had concluded, then he spoke. "Well, he's tall, has dark hair and is the sweetest and most handsome man I've ever seen. In the public eye he's quiet." He paused for a second. " In bed, he lives up to his Host Club title of the "wild type."

Rennie shot up and stared at him, shocked at what he had just said. "...Oh my God, really Umehito? Really?" Nekozawa looked at her sheepishly, a grin plastered on his face.

"Sorry, Rennie-chan. But you did ask."

Rennie huffed. "I guess so. Anyway, it's really late and I'm tired, so could you go? Besides, now I have to try and get this image of you and a stranger rolling in the sheets out of my head and with you laying there it's really, really hard."

Both of them froze.

And suddenly they broke out into uncontrollable laughter. "That's what she said!" They called in unison. The laughter seemed to last forever, suffocating the two, but finally after several minutes it began to relax to a stray giggle. After catching his breath and wiping a few stray tears away, Nekozawa stood and made his way to the door. "Goodnight Rennie-chan," He called.

"Goodnight, Umehito." Rennie replied. Once the door closed, she smiled to herself and began getting ready to sleep.

She couldn't wait for school to start.

* * *

**A/N**: Hey everyone! It's been a long time. This is a joint story between myself and my good friend Luthien Luinwe, and we're super excited to be writing it! I hope you guys have enjoyed this little beginning, and just to avoid confusion, Amandine is Luthien and I am Rennie. Reviews are always welcome, and this story will be updated quite often, I would think.

Thanks so much!  
Nightowl and Luthien


	2. Party-Planning

Amandine looked around Music Room 3. So this was where her cousin spent his afternoons... She'd quickly figured out who was who, it wasn't exactly difficult, but she couldn't tell the twins apart for anything. Something seemed off between the two though. It wasn't tense exactly, but it wasn't too far off from it. She doubted anyone else would notice though. It was hard to think with Tamaki talking at an excessive volume.

"It's settled then!" he declared, looking at his fellow Hosts. "We will invite ourselves over to Nekozawa-senpai's beach in Okinawa for a back to school sleepover!"

"Sleepover?" Kaoru grinned, looking over at Haruhi. "I'm in."

Hikaru crossed his arms and huffed. "Fine, I'll go too."

Nekozawa, at the sound of his name, poked his head through the door with Belzeneef and Rennie. "Oh, did someone say a sleepover? How exciting!" Rennie called, stepping out and dragging the black magician with her by the ear. His squirming and calls of "ouch" and "let me go" went unheeded. Mori turned his head slightly to watch.

"We'd be happy to have all of you!" said Rennie, stopping in front of the group and releasing her cousin.

Kaoru rolled his eyes at his brother. Hikaru had been unhappy since Kaoru had told him he was going out with Haruhi.

"Indeed you did," Tamaki said. "We were discussing our plans to spend the weekend at your family's private beach. Of course we would have to invite you as well. It is your home, after all." He seemed to take notice of the girl with him. "And who is this lovely maiden?"

Rennie paused, looking at the tall blond. A small frown formed on her face as she replied. "I'm Renata Avilov, but please, call me Rennie. It's a pleasure, Tamaki-kun." She backed away a little so that she could put her arm around Nekozawa, who was busy pouting. "This is my dear cousin."

"I didn't know Neko-chan had a cousin," Honey commented, looking over at the two relatives. "That's so cool! You two must get along really well like Tama-chan and Ama-chan, huh?" He hugged Usa-chan close to himself.

Rennie smiled at the short Host. "Yes, we get along great. In fact, he's the one who introduced me to black magic."

Nekozawa removed her arm from his shoulders and proceeded towards Tamaki, all the while waving Belzeneef around. "Yes, that's right. And since you volunteered my beach house without asking, Rennie-chan and I might just have to put a small curse on you. It's only fair," he hissed. Rennie giggled, looking at Amandine.

"It's great to see you again!"

"No! No curses!" Tamaki shouted. "The club is nothing without their handsome, princely leader!"

Amandine nodded. "You too. Been awhile," she smiled. "Looks like you got swung in with these weridos too then? Least I don't have to brave them alone."

"We are not weirdos!" Tamaki argued, momentarily distracted from Nekozawa.

Rennie grinned at the shorter girl. "That's just what I was thinking! I can't wait; it's been what, three years? A sleepover would be perfect!"

Once she heard Tamaki's outrage, she faced him once more. "Oh, really now? Then why does your Host Club have a girl in it? I can't imagine your guests would be too pleased about that," she argued back. She saw something move out of the corner of her eye and turned. It was Haruhi, who had chuckled and moved closer to Kaoru.

"That's true," Hikaru said, frowning at Haruhi's and Kaoru's closeness.

Rennie looked at Hikaru, confused but not ultimately concerned about his coldness. "Well," Rennie said, "I know a pretty girl when I see one." She winked at Amandine and laughed.

Haruhi blushed. "Uh, thanks, Rennie-senpai."

"Wait... Neko-chan didn't know Haru-chan's a girl..." Honey frowned as he looked at the Black Magic Club's president. "So you can't tell anybody, okay?"

"Yes, it's very important that her secret remain a secret," Amandine did a scarily accurate impression of Kyouya. "It would be bad for club finances if anyone found out."

Nekozawa nodded, shocked and blushing in a way only the magician could. "Y-your secret's safe with me, Haru-chan," he muttered.

Rennie saluted Amandine and stood at attention. "Ma'am yes ma'am! No one shall know of Haruhi's secret!" She yelled.

"But don't get any ideas," Kaoru warned. "She's mine," he was talking to Nekozawa, but the words seemed to be directed at Hikaru.

"And the room just got ten degrees colder," Amandine sighed.

Hikaru tensed up at his twin's words, his anger flaring. "Kaoru, you're being a jerk! I can't believe you would say that, as if I'm some sort of girlfriend-stealer!" His glare struck Kaoru, but before he could reply, Haruhi spoke up.

"Look, Hikaru, I'm sorry you're mad at us but you shouldn't be yelling at him. I'm sorry I hurt you, but you're still one of my best friends," she said softly. Hikaru just stared at her.

"Some best friend you turned out to be," he muttered before leaving Music Room Three.

Rennie sighed. "Poor thing."

"Hikaru, wait," Kaoru sighed. He shot Haruhi an apologetic look before running after his twin. He knew he'd crossed a line, and he'd regretted what he'd said as soon as he'd said it. But it wasn't like he could take it back.

"It's always a girl," Amandine said. "Why is it always a girl?"

"I don't know. It's pretty annoying though," Rennie groaned. She turned her attention to Nekozawa, Amandine and the rest of the Host Club. "Well," she said with a large smile. "I can't wait to see you guys at the beach house! Umehito and I need to learn some, ahem, magical things for the party, so please excuse us!"

Rennie grabbed Nekozawa's hand and went to the door. Right before she left, she cackled and they disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. "Bye, Tamaki!" Her voice echoed.

"I should go do stuff," Amandine said vaguelly before slipping out of the music room. She wanted to see what was going on with the twins. She knew it wasn't good, whatever it was, and that she'd need to find a way to make things better.

"She seems really sweet, right Takashi?" Honey asked his older cousin. "And Neko-chan seems really happy that she's here too. Maybe he won't be as lonely."

"Ah," Mori said. He was concerned about the Black Magic Club leader being alone, and this strange cousin of his seemed to be a welcome guest. He looked down at Honey and sighed internally. Secrets were not his forte but sometimes there were things Mitsukuni shouldn't know.

"Well I hope Hikaru and Kaoru get things sorted out between themselves," Kyouya sighed. If they had to cut the loving brother's project, he could bring in Kaoru and Haruhi as a couple, but that would cost the club money. Twincest sold, and if he was down a pair of loving brothers, there could be no twincest.

"They always do, mon amour," Tamaki pointed out. He knew everyone in the club knew about his relationship with the Shadow King, so he didn't bother trying to hide it.

Haruhi sighed. "I'm still worried about them; after all, it is kind of my fault they're fighting. I should go find them..." her voice carried off. Mori looked over at her, studying the sadness. He felt bad for her, but that's what happens when you date a twin, unfortunately.

* * *

"Will you stop walking and talk to me?!" Kaoru shouted after Hikaru. "It just came out, okay?"

Hikaru stopped and turned towards his twin, his face red with anger and soaked with tears. "Just leave me alone, Kaoru!"

"No," Kaoru said, looking Hikaru over, noticing how terrible he looked. "We live together and share a room, so it's kinda hard to leave you alone," he pointed out. "I didn't mean it."

Hikaru took a deep breath and wiped the tears away. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I just... you know how I feel about her. And... and..." He sighed. "I want you guys to be happy, but it's hard."

"I know," Kaoru sighed. "But I mean... I dunno." He knew the point he wanted to make, but he didn't know how to make it. "You'll find someone."

Hikaru walked to Kaoru and hugged him. "Thank you, dear brother."

"So we good?" Kaoru asked.

Hikaru sniffled into his brother's shirt. "Yeah, we're good."


	3. Only The Beginning

The sunset was quite beautiful as Rennie, Amandine, Nekozawa and the Host Club watched from the beach, all tired from the day of fun and excitement. Kyouya and Tamaki sat together and held hands, small smiles on their faces. Rennie grinned at the adorable sight.

"Hey, Rennie-kun," Nekozawa said from behind her. She jumped a bit, and he laughed before sitting next to her. He took her hand in his, and spoke softly. "I just wanted to warn you- don't come to my room tonight after the festivities. I'll be rather...busy."

Rennie tried to choke back a laugh and failed miserably. She squeezed his hand and looked at him with giggles. She saw a blush creep onto his face. "Whatever you say, Umehito."

Tamaki leaned his head on Kyouya's shoulder. "Remember the last time we were here?" the blond asked.

"If memory serves, you thought Haruhi and I were together, you threw sunscreen in my face, called me a bastard, and then we left you behind to find your own way home," Kyouya smirked.

"But you didn't do anything, right?" Tamaki pushed.

"No, that's Kaoru's job."

Mori watched the others as they spoke and cuddled. Honey was next to him, hugging Usa-chan and making "ooh" and "aww" sounds as the sun nearly completed it downward assent. Despite his trying not to, his eyes fell on Nekozawa as he spoke to Rennie. A small, nearly unnoticeable smile peaked on his face and he looked down to Honey. His thoughts were troubled, though he would never let them become known.

Honey glanced over at his cousin. "Neko-chan's cousin seems really sweet," he commented. "They really get along well. That's good, I think. It's sad they can't be together all the time like we are, though. But at least we always know what's going on with each other, right?"

Mori paused for only a moment before nodding. "Yes," he said. It hurt him to lie, but it was for the best, wasn't it?

"I'm gonna go change into my pajamas," Honey said after a moment. "See you later, Takashi!"

"Ah," he said. He watched Rennie and Amandine stand up from the sand, as the sun had complete its sinking.

Rennie clapped her hands together, her black hoodie and jeans covered with sand. "You guys know what time it is now!" she called. Rennie watched the others stand and wipe themselves off. "Time for the party!" She smiled wickedly at Amandine.

"We gonna do what I think we're gonna do?" Amandine asked with a grin. "Because if so, I'm so in."

"Of course! It's time for... cards against humanity!" Rennie laughed and wrapped an arm around Amandine, and they began walking toward the house.

Hikaru watched the two girls and sighed. "What kind of game is that? It's sounds like something Haruhi would play. A commoner's game."

"From what I've read, it's a card game for terrible people," Kyouya said. "Meaning we're at a distinct disadvantage."

"I don't know, senpai," Kaoru argued. "You just gotta dig deep into the depths of the dirty part of your mind."

"That shouldn't be too hard, Kaoru, what with him and Tono; all things dirty should be at the forefront of his mind!" Hikaru said, poking Kyouya in the side. "Besides, this should be fun! What could possibly go wrong?"

"But what about my sweet, innocent little daughter?" Tamaki asked, standing up. "We can't have her exposed to such dirty boy things!"

"Uh... Yeah, of course not... Definitely not," Kaoru looked away from Tamaki. "Must preserve the innocence and all."

"...WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY DAUGHTER?!" the blond exploded.

"Tamaki, stop being an idiot!" Haruhi shouted as she punch his head. She then turned to Kaoru and did the same. "And you, you promised not to speak of things that happen between us!" Walking into the house, she slammed the door behind them and sighed.

"Oh, Haruhi-chan! Where's everyone else?" Rennie asked as she led Haruhi into the nearest (and biggest) bedroom. Cushions were placed in a circle around decks of black and white cards. Haruhi sat next to Amandine and smiled. "Well, they're outside nursing their wounded egos."

Amandine was shuffling the cards. "Ah boys," she sighed. "Always the stupid ones they are. Even when they're smart, they're stupid. What did they do?"

Haruhi reached for a deck and began shuffling as well. "You know Tamaki- he's always saying he's my father and trying to protect my innocence when it's none of his business. And Kaoru couldn't keep his mouth shut and set him off." Haruhi sighed as she placed the deck down.

Rennie sat on Amandine's other side. "Boys are such a hassle, but what would the world be without them, you know? Too peaceful and boring." She gently shoved her friend and giggled.

"So a normal day with Tamaki, then," Amandine said. "Those boys need to hurry up, I need to unleash my inner horrible person." She went ahead and drew her white cards. "We can't be held responsible for relationships ending because of this."

Rennie stood to fetch the others since she too wanted to show everyone she wasn't a charming maiden on the inside. Stepping into the hallway, a smoke bomb went off, unleashing purple smoke and making her cough.

"Really, Nekozawa?" She hacked as she removed herself from the choking smoke. "I've never been this rude to you!"

A laugh was heard and out came her hooded cousin from some dark corner Rennie couldn't spot. "Well, maybe not, but I just had to make a special entrance. Besides, I came to tell you the charms are ready, courtesy of Belzeneef." The puppet on his hand twitched, a small blush appearing.

Rennie shoved him out of the way and went to the front door. "I see what Haruhi means. Boys are terrible," she muttered as the door slid open, revealing Tamaki and Kaoru at each other's throats with Mori, Kyouya and Hikaru watching, amusement glittering in their eyes. Rennie sighed.

"I can't believe you would defile my daughter like that!" Tamaki shouted at the younger Hitachiin twin. It was bad enough they were dating, but this?

"Relax, tono! We didn't do anything!" Kaoru insisted, trying to get away from the blond. "Now look, you're gonna make Nekozawa's cousin upset!"

"Too late," Rennie shouted as she clenched her fists. Both froze as all eyes turned to her. "You two- knock it off before I come over there and beat you both senseless! As for the rest of you," she turned to the group of three, "It's time to start the game!" she said sweetly as a pleasant smile formed on her face. Hikaru, Kyouya and Mori just stared at her, unsure if they could trust the emotionally-bipolar girl.

Rennie continued to smile as the group shuffled their way inside. Kaoru and Tamaki were last, bumps prominent on their heads. She stopped them as the smile vanished. "If you two do anything to upset the game, I WILL curse you both for the rest of your lives. And that's a promise," she hissed.

"I'll behave if he does," Tamaki muttered. He sat between Amandine and Kyouya. "So how do we play this? I can't say I'm familiar with the game."

"It looks like Apples to Apples," Kyouya commented. "Only horrible."

Rennie nodded. "That's exactly what this is, only with black and white cards as well as mature themes, like nipple blades and bigger, blacker dicks!" She paused as she looked around. Someone was missing. "Wait, where's Honey?" She asked Mori.

"Changing," he said. Mori didn't much like the sound of the game, and he wasn't sure Mitsukuni would enjoy it either; after all, he was the innocent one.

"I'm right here!" Honey declared as he walked into the room and sat next to Mori. "This looks like fun! Can I play?"

Mori looked at the small boy in his bunny pajamas and nodded, despite his brain telling him to do the opposite and save the poor kid from the eye-opening madness. He could only imagine the questions he would be asked later. Mori shivered slightly.

"So who goes first?" Kaoru asked, stretching out and drawing a few cards. "Oh my God..." he was pretty sure his face turned bright red.

Rennie laughed at Kaoru's tomato red face. "I volunteer Amandine, since she has been so excited about this game! Plus, since she and I are the only ones who know what to expect, I want to see everyone's faces!"

Amandine cleared her throat and drew a black card. "My mother was concerned when she checked my browsing history and found _ _

Kyouya and Kaoru both put cards down almost immediately.

Rennie glanced at her hand and giggled as she laid her cards down. This was a classic amongst her friends, and knew it would freak out most of the others, considering what it was.

Haruhi, with a small groan, placed hers near the pile.

"Right, here goes," Amandine picked up the cards once everyone made their choices. "Poor life choices / friends with benefits. The unstoppable tide of Islam / Muhammad (praise be unto him). Scrotal frostbite / sexual tension. The care bear stare / spontaneous human combustion. Asians who aren't good at math / swag. Coat hanger abortions / hiding the evidence... What the actual hell?" She tried not to laugh at the horribleness of the cards. "Being a dick to / my vagina... Okay. Being fabulous / the homosexual agenda, and taking your shirt off / third base... Uh... Okay..." She had to think on that.

"Takashi, what's a coat hanger abortion?" Honey asked.

Mori froze and looked into Honey's innocently bright eyes. "Later," he squeaked. There was no way Mori was going to explain that right now. Maybe he would forget as the game progressed further?

"Fine," Honey huffed. He was no fun.

"Coat hanger abortions for the win," Amandine decided.

"Yay!" Honey's demeanor completely changed as he took his card. He may not have known what it was, but it sounded terrible enough to have to hide the evidence.

"You're next Oh Stoic One," Amandine said to Mori.

Mori hesitantly picked up a black card and read it aloud, blushing furiously. "What will always get you laid?"

The "Stoic One," as Amandine had so nicely called him, watched in horror as the others laid their cards in a pile in front of him. Hikaru was last, and he wore a grin worthy of the Cheshire Cat himself.

Mori sighed as he shuffled the cards in his hands and began to read. "Ryan Gosling riding a white horse, surprise sex!, my genitals, passable transvestites, friction, the milk man, the clitoris, an erection that lasts longer than four hours, and necrophilia." At the last one, he shot a look to Nekozawa, who looked as amused as ever.

Sighing, he picked a card at random and read it. "The milk man."

Tamaki squeed and took his card, then it was Honey's turn. Smiling and holding Usa-chan, he picked a black card from one of the various piles. He read it; "What's my anti-drug?"

And so the game continued late into the night, but Rennie and Nekozawa shared a knowing smile; the fun was just beginning.

* * *

Honey yawned and stood up. "I'm going to bed, night you guys!" he smiled.

"I think we overlooked something," Kaoru said to Haruhi, keeping his voice low.

"I think you're right... I've got a bad feeling about this," Haruhi whispered.

Kaoru shook his head. "No, you don't understand. We have two extremely grouchy risers in this group. And we have to deal with both of them tomorrow."

Her eyes grew wide as she looked at the two grouchy risers.. "Oh, no. What are we going to do?"

Neither of them had noticed Rennie appear behind them. With her, she held a strawberry and a small water bottle, both shimmering ever so slightly. "I've got a solution to your problem, but you must make sure they ingest it now. This," she held out the water bottle, "is for Kyouya. The strawberry is for Honey. I can't tell you what it does, but it will keep them from killing everyone in the morning." Rennie giggled as she shoved the objects into Haruhi's hands and took her place on the cushion.

"I'll take the Shadow King, you take the short one," Kaoru said, taking the water bottle from her. "Remember, don't show fear. Rumor has it he can smell fear. That's how he took down those green berets."

Raising an eyebrow at her boyfriend, she almost asked but quickly decided against it. "Fine. No fear. I'll get him in the hallway; you somehow get Kyouya to drink that." Haruhi stood and followed Honey into the hallway, calling his name to stop him.

"Hey Honey! I, uh, was just wondering if you wanted this? It looks really good and I figured you'd enjoy it." She smiled at the boy-Lolita and held out the fruit, trying not to twitch.

"A strawberry?" Honey perked up and ran over to the girl. "But it's just one," he frowned. "I'll eat it anyway!" He took it from her hand and nearly inhaled the berry.

Nekozawa watched from a corner and grinned from ear to ear. "Excellent," he purred. He reached up to his ear and said into the speaker, "Step one has been completed."

"Awesome. Now we just need step two and three and we are gonna have an insane time. Hehehe," Rennie's voice was quiet and raspy in the earpiece.

Kaoru wondered what was in the bottle, but decided not to question it. "Hey senpai, you look thirsty."

Kyouya raised an eyebrow at the bottle. "And what is that exactly?"

"Just water. Fancy water," Kaoru shrugged. Hikaru was better with that type of thing.

Rennie watched from a distance as a dark aura surrounded her. Now, he just needed to drink the water and BAM! Insanity!

Kyouya decided to take his chances. He unscrewed the lid and drank.

KABOOOOOOOOOM!

Honey and Kyouya were both enveloped in black, twisted vines that covered their mouths. Bright white lights shone from their eyes and blinded everyone in the room and hallway except Nekozawa and Rennie who were wearing sunglasses. "Oh, this is gonna be soooooo good!" Rennie cackled. Soon, the light disappeared and both slumped a little bit.

Rennie approached Kyouya. "Oh, sorry about that. Now you two have switched bodies and can't sleep for a solid twenty-four hours. Problem solved!" She exclaimed.

A shout was heard from the hallway as Nekozawa told "Honey" the news.

"What the hell happened?!" 'Honey' shouted at Nekozawa. "What the hell was in that drink? Who DOES that?!"

"It was Rennie's idea and I simply couldn't resist causing some mischief!" Nekozawa waved Belzeneef around 'Honey's' head. "It wears off in twenty-four hours and also, you can't sleep until then!" Nekozawa retreated back into a corner and disappeared, laughter echoing away.

"And what am I supposed to do for those hours?!" Kyouya shouted after Nekozawa. He sighed knowing he was long gone and rejoined the others. "Do I really look like that?" he looked over at Honey, who was inhabiting his body.

"Kyo-chan!" Honey exclaimed. "You look so cute as me!"

Haruhi and Hikaru looked back and forth at Honey and Kyouya, completely and utterly lost. "So.. uh, Honey is Kyouya and Kyouya is Honey?" Haruhi asked. Rennie nodded her head with a large grin and put her arm around Honey. "That's right, Haru-chan! Now we don't have to worry about the Low Blood Pressure Demon Lord and the Low Blood Pressure Demon Beast waking up in the morning and killing all of us!"

"Hmm, maybe this isn't such a bad idea, right Kaoru?" He looked toward his twin and the plotting between them began.

"Uh, considering tono doesn't know, this could end up going very badly," Kaoru argued, though he had to admit it had the potential to result in some really hilarious stories. "No low blood pressure in the morning is good, though."

"Hmmm. Good thing he decided to go to the restroom when he did," he replied. Hikaru turned toward the group to make an announcement.

"Alright, everyone. Since Tono doesn't know what happened, we shouldn't tell him. Honey, Kyouya, act natural."

"No way in hell am I letting him flirt with my boyfriend," Kyouya protested, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, that would be wrong!" Honey agreed.

Hikaru sighed. "Oh, come on, it's not like Honey's gonna mean it. And besides, he can just back out of anything Tamaki suggests that might be, uh... creepy."

Mori watched with interest and smiled. Sometimes he never understood what was going on, but this was too much.

"Uh, no, then he's gonna think something's up," Kyouya argued. "Which something is up."

"Do it," Mori said.

"Do what, Takashi?" Honey asked. He thought it was so weird to be so tall and have such a deep, more manly voice. But he had to admit, he kind of liked it. It made him feel, well... manly.

"Act normal," He replied, his deep voice rumbling. "It would be fun." Mitsukuni was probably going to be upset, but this was too much to pass up.

"But that would hurt Tama-chan if he found out," Honey argued. "it isn't right to mess with someone's feelings like that."

Rennie groaned and threw her hands up. "God, you guys are such a mood killer. No fun at all!" She pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to stifle the headache she was getting from Honey and tried to think.

Nothing was coming to her. Not a single idea. "What are we supposed to do now? Nekozawa and I can't reverse this spell since it's temporary anyway, and if you guys are gonna be such Debbie Downers I might as well go to bed or something." She turned to leave but a hand grabbed her shoulder, causing her to stop.

"No, Rennie, please stay." It was Mori's hand and his voice requesting her presence. She turned to him and glared. Rennie thought about how lucky he was to be Umehito's boyfriend, otherwise she would have ripped his head off.

"...Fine, Mori-senpai. Whatever you want."


End file.
